By Joshua Dent
The big day came. The camera man at my commercial audition goes “Lights, Camera..”
Shit! I have two different socks on.
My first commercial audition the other day was quite the flop of course. ha ha..
They asked me to take my shoes off when they started taking my pictures. Much to their surprise, I had two completely different socks on..
Then, they asked me to do a one minute video about myself, and somebody’s cell phone went off in the middle of it, which caused me to start stuttering like a prick.
So with two different socks on, and 40 seconds of stuttering on video, the girl running the audition said “You do stand up. Let’s hear your act.”
Asking a comedian to perform without a stage, an audience, or let’s see a Comedy SHOW, is about the equivalent to asking Tiger Woods to play 9 holes of golf with you without his clubs, or a course.
I reluctantly agreed. I warned her in advance that my jokes are a bit offensive.
I proceeded to stutter again through my only racist against Taiwanese joke I have, in a room full of Taiwanese people that I am not even sure if they spoke English.
I didn’t even have to make eye contact with anyone after the joke was done. I could just feel the awkward silence had already been taken to a whole new level.
Before I even put my shoes back on, the lady was very clear that “She will call me if a good fit becomes available.”
Needles to say, that is not a call I am waiting for.